mariah lee

20. Break My Soul | Soccer, She Wrote

Recent events have upended women’s soccer and society at large. In Blog 20, Mariah delves into the Yates Report, the Spanish national team revolt, Beyoncé, and more.

I would like to open today’s blog with a list of events. 

Aug. 25, the Kent School District teachers initiate a strike. 
Aug. 27-29, Portuguese baggage handlers strike.
Sept. 7, I leave the US for Spain.
Sept. 7, my bags get lost at Lisbon Airport.  
Sept. 7, Seattle Public Schools teachers initiate a strike.
Sept. 8, Spain’s Liga F referees initiate a strike. 
Sept. 8, Kent School District teachers end the strike. 
Sept. 11, my first Liga F match is canceled. 
Sept. 13, Seattle Public Schools teachers end the strike.
Sept. 15, US rail strike is narrowly averted. 
Sept. 15, Liga F referees end the strike.
Sept. 22, 15 players resign from the Spanish women’s national team.
Oct. 3, the Yates report is released. 

Oh, and one more, for good measure.

June 20, “BREAK MY SOUL” by Beyoncé is released. 


I could have written a blog about a number of the aforementioned events in isolation. Some, you could argue, may seem ill-suited for a blog called Soccer, She Wrote. But if you haven’t noticed, Soccer, She Wrote, and, soccer, itself extend far beyond folks kicking a ball around a field. I mentioned these events in concert because I believe that together they are emblematic. Since I started this new season of life in Spain I have been in some shape or form connected to soul-breaking work. If I were to ask any of the workers involved in these events they could probably attest to what Beyoncé sings so powerfully. 

Damn, they work me so damn hard
Work by nine, then off past five
And they work my nerves
That’s why I cannot sleep at night
 

Worker conditions in the teaching, railroad, and aviation industry have been severely impacted by the pandemic. The teachers of my community were striking for more special education teachers, greater mental health and behavioral resources, better wages, and reduced class sizes due to teacher shortfalls. The baggage handlers wanted better pay and better opportunities for career progression. The railway workers primarily wanted time off, with many receiving no sick leave as a result of severe staffing shortages. The female referees (yes, all of the Liga F referees are women) demanded an increase in pay after feeling left behind as player salaries increased after the league’s professionalization.  

15 of the Spanish women’s soccer team players asked not to be selected for national team games unless team conditions change via an identical email sent from the players stating that the environment is impacting their emotional and physical health. The 15 players plus injured, Alexia Putellas, Ballon d’Or winner, given to the best player in the world, subsequently released a statement sharing that in addition to their emotional state, the performance of the team is being harmed by the current conditions. 

But what are the conditions? Though the women didn’t publicly demand the dismissal of the head coach and sporting director, Jorge Vilda, it has been known that players are unhappy with his controlling behavior and general coaching ability. Despite having an incredible pool of talent, Vilda’s track record over the past seven years is abysmal, with the 2022 Euros quarterfinal appearance his most notable achievement. Not to mention, Vilda has no professional coaching experience, having only coached youth players. After a series of conversations with the Spanish Federation followed by no action, players believe that president, Luis Rubiales doesn’t believe in women’s football.  

While one can debate whether players should be striking to protest an inadequate coach, as a player who has given my life to football it is soul breaking to show up every day to better yourself and better the team underneath a coach that is grossly incompetent and a president that you believe doesn’t truly value what you do. 

Imagine this– you play at Barcelona, you have top-of-the-line facilities, technology, and personnel. You have outstanding coaching, high-level trainings, you don’t lose games, you break world attendance records, and you are actively shattering the bounds of women’s football. Then you get called up to what’s supposed to be the highest and most honorable level of football in your country and it’s not the same. Not even close. 

Release ya anger, release ya mind 
Release ya job, release the time

Though Queen B championed it, quitting your job is not suitable for everyone– neither is striking, resigning, or asking to not be selected. What happens when the power imbalance is so great that the worker feels as if she has no options? 


More Soccer, She Wrote


The Yates Report 

Sally Yates, a former deputy attorney general, and the law firm King & Spalding were commissioned by U.S. Soccer to investigate allegations of sexual and verbal abuse in the NWSL as reported in The Athletic and The Washington Post last year. What the Yates Report details is harrowing. Line after line speaks of coaches across the NWSL manipulating, demeaning, abusing, and sexually coercing players. 

While several coaches were named in the report, three, in particular, were focused on: Paul Riley, Rory Dames, and Christy Holly. The accusations against Riley and Dames were previously reported on. The accusations against Holly, who was dismissed from Racing Louisville last year with little explanation, were entirely new to the public. 

Holly, on one occasion, invited a player over to his home to watch game film and groped her breasts and genitals for “every pass [she] fucked up.” 

How did this happen? 

The report points to a number of factors: coaches blurring the lines between appropriate and inappropriate behavior and grooming players in youth soccer, a culture that normalized abusive behavior, a league forged without any basic player protections, a league that prioritized its interests over player welfare time and time again, players coming forward but then being ignored or retaliated against, teams not disclosing why coaches were fired allowing them to engage in the same behavior on subsequent teams.   

But how did this happen? 

You love the game of soccer. You’ve dedicated your entire life to playing. You’ve dreamt of being on the national team since you were a young girl. In order to make those dreams come true, you have to be starting and performing on an NWSL team (the USWNT has been known to not consider non-NWSL players). There’s no free agency (well, you’re not one of the 26 veteran players who was granted free agency after 6 years in the league for the first time this past August) so you can’t join a new team of your choosing. And your coach is threatening to pull you from the starting lineup, or threatening to end your career (and he can because he’s so well-connected), or is threatening to not let you go to national team camp (yes, coaches can choose to not release players for national team call-ups), or threatening to make the team do extra conditioning if you don’t do what he says (yes, this, like all the other examples did happen). Or he’s not threatening you at all, but you know if you don’t do what he wants all hell will break loose. So, when he invites you over for game film review at his home, alone, you go. 

Events that have coincided with my life over the past several weeks have illuminated a worldwide phenomenon that football isn’t immune to– the exploitation of workers. All I hope is that these men and women, especially the women in the NWSL who shared their testimonies, were able to mend their souls.


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